Et pis, doucett'ment on s'endort.
On fait sa carne, on fait sa sorgue.
On ronfle, et, comme un tuyan d'orgue.
L'tuyan s'met à ronfler pus fort...
Aristide Bruant
Chapter I
As I stepped upon the platform of a Broadway cable-cat at Forty-second Street, some body said:
"Hello, Hilton, Jamison's looking for you."
"Hello, Curtis," I replied, "what does Jamison want?"
"He wants to know what you've been doing all the week," said Curtis, hanging desperately to the railing as the car lurched forward; "he says you seem to think that the Manhattan Illustrated Weekly was created for the sole purpose of providing salary and vacations for you."
"The shifty old tom-cat!" I said, indignantly, "he knows well enough where I've been. Vacation! Does he think the State Camp in June is a snap?"
"Oh," said Curtis, "you've been to Peekskill?"
"I should say so," I replied, my wrath rising as I thought of my assignment.
"Hot?" inquired Curtis, dreamily.
"One hundred and three in the shade," I answered. "Jamison wanted three full pages and three half pages, all for process work, and a lot of line drawings into the bargain. I could have faked them--I wish I had. I was fool enough to hustle and break my neck to get some honest drawings, and that's the thanks I get!"
"Did you have a camera?"
"No. I will next time--I'll waste no more conscientious work on Jamison," I said sulkily.
"It doesn't pay," said Curtis. "When I have military work assigned me, I don't do the dashing sketch-artist act, you bet; I go to my studio, light my pipe, pull out a lot of old Illustrated London News, select several suitable battle scenes by Caton Woodville--and use 'em too."
The car shot around the neck-breaking curve at Fourteenth Street.
"Yes," continued Curtis, as the car stopped in front of the Morton House for a moment, then plunged forward again amid a furious clanging of gongs, "it doesn't pay to do decent work for the fat-headed men who run the Manhattan Illustrated. They don't appreciate it."
"I think the public does," I said, "but I'm sure Jamison doesn't. It would serve him right if I did what most of you fellows do--take a lot of Caton Woodville's and Thulstrup's drawings, change the uniforms, 'chic' a figure or two, and turn in a drawing labelled 'from life.' I'm sick of this sort of thing anyway. Almost every day this week I've been chasing myself over that tropical camp, or galloping in the wake of those batteries. I've got a full page of the 'camp by moonlight,' full pages of 'artillery drill' and 'light battery in action,' and a dozen smaller drawings that cost me more groans and perspiration than Jamison ever knew in all his lymphatic life!"